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Joke of the Day

"In North Korea... [edited] everything is grand and prosperous and USA is smelly"

"Tomorrow I am going to open the time capsule I buried as a kid. I can't wait to see how big my puppy got"

"Obligatory Light Bulb Do you know how many librarians it takes to screw in a light bulb? No, but I know where you can look it up!"

"Three men walked into a bar Thought one of em had seen it."

"How do you make a tissue dance? You put a boogey in it"

"I used to own a car that never seemed to run properly. It was a brokeswagen."

"My girlfriend asked if she would be able to make a living by being a stripper... I told her it was probably a bit too risque."

"Where does a snowman put his birthday candles? On his birthday flake!"

"What happens when you keep feeding a cow money? You get rich milk."

"I was having a nightmare where a dude said he was going to kill me if I could not make him laugh... so I said... What gas leaves a pirate speechless? . . . Argon"