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Joke of the Day

"There's a sign in this bathroom that asks us not to flush anything but toilet paper down the toilet & now I'm unsure how to proceed."

"Anybody who says they could never conceive of killing another human being just needs to meet more people."

"What did Shang Tsung say when he stole Liu Kang's shoes? Your sole is mine!"

"Did you hear ISIS secretly makes sex toys? They specialise in blow up dolls"

"Jesus walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries"

"More people die from drug overdose than guns... Because guns can't take drugs."

"I think one of the toughest parts about growing up is realizing that you don't sweat blue if you drink blue Gatorade."

"Whenever I look in the mirror I call myself ugly. because it hurts more coming from someone pretty."

"""If something goes wrong, we'll just go to a blue DOS screen and dump out an indecipherable log of what happened"". This was a choice made."

"""Bye, losers."" *puts on motorcycle helmet and sunglasses* *rides unicycle into an elevator* ""Can you push the button for the lobby please."""