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Joke of the Day

"Satan is so gay!"

"Yes Grandma, I'm almost positive Arachnophobia is not the fear of people from Iraq"

"That bitch... Two necrophiliacs were chatting on the phone. One says to the other,""So how's the girlfriend?"" He replies, ""Eh, the rottin cunt split on me last night."""

"Mufasa didn't die, he just went out for a pack of smokes and a newspaper. - The Lyin' King"

"StubHub should really be a place where single amputees meet."

"Literal People Anonymous Welcome to Literal People Anonymous, would everyone please take a seat. NO, WAIT! BRING THOSE CHAIRS BACK!"

"""Do you know how fast you were going?"" 75 in a 55. I'm sorry officer. ""Get out of the car."" *Cop cuddles driver* ""Stop doing this. I worry."""

"People keep mixing up my jokes and my sex They groan at my jokes, and they laugh at my sex."

"What kinds of vegetables did Ghandi prefer? Peace and carrots... Thought this up at work today. I'm sure it's been done before but it made me chuckle..."

"The Golden Globes is how everyone else on twitter gets revenge on sports fans."