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Joke of the Day

"How do you get a 300 pound woman into bed? piece of cake"

"You can tell a lot about a person's personality by the type of car they drive. I haven't got one."

"Did you guys hear about them putting Harriet Tubman on the $20 bill? To bad it is only going to be worth $12 now."

"It must be really awesome being a baker They make a lotta dough."

"ME: forgive me father for I have sinned PRIEST: nothing that can't be forgiven my son ME: I microwave my pop tarts PRIEST: u sick son of a"

"What do you call a university full of fat girls studying neuroscience? A hippocampus."

"KEIRA KNIGHTLEY DOESN'T EXIST Q: How do you know that Keira Knightley doesn't exist? A: Because the camera adds 10 pounds."

"If Tom Brady joined Nickelback... They'd become 30 cents."

"People who change the channel every time there's a commercial are more annoying than commercials."

"Someone hit someone with a knife between his fingers. I guess you could say he...Spiked his punch. ( )"