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Joke of the Day

"Wearing my lesbian boots today. Well, they're faux lesbian. I don't believe in using lesbians for leather, even if they're farm-raised."

"The more ""normal"" you try to be, the less interesting people like myself will find you."

"5,""So we don't get to open any presents today?"" Me, ""No."" 5, ""So basically Thanksgiving is just Christmas for your tummy, right?"""

"What do Native American pubescent hipsters who would like to join a group often say? Clandestine."

"If you're able to roll over in your grave, you should save that energy for yelling and digging."

"I bought shoes from a drug dealer I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day"

"""Oh, not much, just grooming my magnificent, powerful wings, you?"" -Pegasus every time a normal horse calls him"

"What does a South Korean call their lover? Their Seoul Mate."

"Why did the sperm cross the road? ...'Cause I wore the wrong pair of socks this morning."

"There hasn't really been any natural disasters lately Even the mudslides have gone downhill."