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Joke of the Day

"""She's smart, has a great personality, an unbelievable body, and she makes an amazing duckface in pictures."" - No man ever"

"Cannibals like to eat... vegetables"

"Whats fun for 9/10 people? gang-rape"

"Teacher: What's the definition of a Polygamist? Pupil: A parrot with more than one wife!"

"How many libertarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, the lightbulb has to pull itself up by the bootstraps and screw itself in"

"I remember that one time, before Twitter, when I went outside and did shit."

"What's pink and hard? The Financial Times crossword puzzle"

"I can confirm that men and women may disagree on when advice is helpful. In related news, it is warm enough to sleep outside."

"What do you call a guy that hates Christmas and steals the woman you love? Ebenezer Scrooge-yagirl"

"Why did God give women yeast infections? That way they know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt."