135765

Joke of the Day

"Can officially confirm that the way to a man's heart these days is not through beauty, food, sex, or alluringness of character, but merely the ability to seem not very interested in him."

"What is black and screams? Stevie Wonder answering the iron."

"Q: How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training? A: Studying their Miranda Rights."

"Sell a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man how to fish and you just lost a customer."

"What the world needs is a self help movie, cause lets face it, most of us won't buy the book."

"Whenever I see an account with a persons full name I always check to see if they're famous or stupid"

"Does Caitlyn even have a vagina? ""No, she has a *Vajenner.*"""

"Last night my wife said to me, ""What would you do without me?"" Apparently, ""Your sister"" was the wrong answer."

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? It's not enough to change the bulb; we have to change the *system*."

"Start reading to your kids as early as possible. I start around 2:30 a.m."