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Joke of the Day

"I'm growing my prostate to raise awareness for moustache cancer."

"I like my coffee like an excellent slave Black!"

"*watches TV* GET AN ANONYMOUS ONLINE QUOTE NOW! *logs on* ""You're a giant idiot and your parents are very disappointed in you"" - Anonymous"

"Two tomatoes cross the road and one of them gets hit by a car. The other one looks back and yells ""C'mon, ketchup!"""

"What saddens me is that I'll never be able to murder anyone who uses ""Not with that attitude"" as a counterargument to negativity."

"I was kicked out of mime school once. I hadn't put the safety lock on and my finger guns went off. The whole class took cover in their boxes"

"How do you make a Gorilla stew? You keep it waiting for three hours!"

"They say the average male has sex 89 times per year. Though, I heard that result was just because one guy had sex 17.7 billion times in the year the data was collected."

"[OC] What do you call a suicidal mathematician smoking weed? Hypotenuse"

"Boss: ""Are you texting?"" Me: ""No, I'm Tweeting."" Boss: ""What's the difference?"" Me: ""Texting would imply that I have friends."""