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Joke of the Day

"Your head is sooooo bald I mistook you for a green rabbit."

"*runs into coworker at store* *pretends I don't speak English*"

"Tis the season to kidnap a tree, hold it hostage, keep it from its family during the holidays, then leave it for dead."

"I owe my life to Justin Beiber. I was in coma for two years, until one of the nurses played one of his songs on the radio in my room. I had to wake up to turn it off."

"What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time *door closes on way out*"

"Why was the little Martian sad? Curiosity killed his cat."

"What is Donald Trump telling Barack Obama supporters? Orange Is The New Black"

"Q: Where can you find an ocean without any water? A: On a map!"

"What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeno business!"

"What's the good word? Legs. Spread the word!"