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Joke of the Day

"what's the difference between my television and my wife? my friends wait til i'm home to use my television"

Next Joke
 
"*at the pharmacy* I WOULD LIKE THE PILLS THAT ALLOW ME TO CONTROL BIRTH *pharmacist blinks* GIVE THEM TO ME, SORCERER"
"What's the best thing about dating a black girl? You don't have to meet her dad."
"Confucius say.. Man who farts in church, sits in own pew."
"What's Iron Man's favorite carnival ride? The ferrous wheel."
"Darling, what are you thinking about right now? If I would want you to know, I would say it not think about it."
"Why did the elephant paint its nails red? So it could hide in the strawberry patch.... Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch? No? See, it worked!"
"""I ruined my health by drinking to everyone Else's."""
"What does a fastidious female call a condom? Goo-be-gone"
"*Eats a Lean Cuisine *20 minutes go by. *Devours entire Pizza Hut store...including employees."
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