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Joke of the Day

"If it's important to you, you will find a way to make it happen. If it's not, you will find an excuse."

"How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb? Swan"

"I smiled and waved at my neighbour so I bet the first thing she'll do today is buy bedroom curtains."

"We could save a lot of hassle if we just made macaroni out of cheese in the first place."

"What do you call a short Mexican? A paragraph, because they're too short to be an es'e"

"4-year-old: We're playing Star Wars. I'm a Jedi and Mom is a stormtrooper. Me: What am I? 4-year-old: In the way."

"I found a very lucrative deal on the firearms section on Craigslist. A French MAS36 rifle. Never fired, dropped once."

"*spin kicks cigarette out of your mouth* Nothing is cooler than health"

"Why did the strawberry cross the road? There was a traffic jam."

"Yesterday was National Girlfriend day and my girl friend really enjoyed it .. ... my wife .. not so much."