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Joke of the Day

"A Shout Out to all the beautiful women who don't need to dress half naked to get a man's attention. Stay classy! The rest of you, come with me."

"I really respect Donald Trump's campaign He's doing so much to help raise awareness for autism."

"Did you here about the new zoo? They put a fence around Iowa."

"You know what's a cool job?: Mirror inspector I could really see my self doing it."

"Donald Trump should start preparing for next season of Dancing With The Stars."

"Lowe's banned me for yelling ""From the windows! To the walls! To the sweat drop down my balls!"", as I explained how much carpet I needed."

"I'm selling a parachute just as new, used only one time, didn't open once."

"Two fish are in a tank... One turns to the other and asks: ""do *you* know how to drive this thing?"""

"How do you stop black kids from jumping on the bed? Put velcro on the ceiling."

"In Hillary's defense. A lot of your friends probably give you $15,000,000 a few times a year and don't expect anything in return."