133179

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a corn farmer who wakes up one morning to find that complex branching pathways have been cut into his field? amaized."

"the best part about kissing a girl is that fun little 30yr build-up right before it happens"

"Diarrhea is too hard to spell so I call it crapplesauce"

"In communist america Banks rob you."

"Oh, you're a fan of The Chainsmokers? Name 3 chains they've smoked"

"LPT: Don't stand out too much from the group. Or you'll be a joke."

"How can you tell if someone's a vegan? Just wait, they'll tell you"

"They told me to get help when I was suicidal. My guy was terrible-- he wouldn't even pull the trigger!"

"Tragic News: Plane carrying Donald Trump underwent massive turbulence, lost engine power, stalled, but landed safely."

"[As a tornado destroys their home] Wife: You're the best thing that ever happened to me. Husband: I really miss Baywatch."