131590
Joke of the Day
"My brother got his will tattooed on his dick.... ....but it didn't stand up in court"
Next Joke
"I should have been a psychic I hear they make a fortune."
"Principal: Do you do your homework? Kid: Now & Then Principal: Where do you do it? Kid: Here & There Principal: Put him in the closet!!! Kid: Hey When will I get out? Principal: Oh sooner or later"
"50% of mariachi bands end in divorciachi."
"TIL I have something in common with Russell Wilson. [We're both not having sex with Ciara](http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/football/russell-wilson-ciara-aren-sex-article-1.2283745)"
"Isn't there part of everyone that hopes the Mayan calander is right? #letswrapitup #endofworld #creditcardbill"
"How can you tell if someone who's having a temper tantrum is on the phone? You get a tizzy signal!"
"How do you catch a polar bear? Cut a hole in the ice and line the edge with peas. When the polar bear comes to take a pea, kick him in the ice hole."
"I didn't sleep very good last night... So I put some Monster Energy drink in my coffee this morning. I got halfway to work before before I realised I forgot my car."
"Sorry I panicked and told your kids that Santa is able to visit every house in one night because he does meth."