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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my drinks... cheap and full of alcohol"

"I think it's bullcrap how Miley Cyrus can get naked, lick a sledge hammer, and people call it ""art"" and ""music"". Yet when I do it, I'm ""wasted"" and "" have to leave Home Depot""."

"Q. What do you call a blonde who dies her hair brown? A. Artificial intelligence."

"what type of beer does a hemorrhoid enjoy? pilesner"

"The penis is a really strong organ... ... because it can take a beating"

"me: you know they never did catch the zodiac killer guy next to me on the bus: why do you keep saying that"

"I have a fetish fetish. Things that turn me on turn me on."

"-Joe's coming over. ""Joe from work or Joe who thinks he's the Norse god, Thor?"" [the distant sound of thunder makes the guacamole quiver]"

"God: thou shall not kill Me: but my coworker whistles all day God: still no Me: he says ciao instead of goodbye God: do what you have to"

"Why are ships' portholes round? So that if they break, water doesn't hit you square in the face."