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Joke of the Day

"""Nwbdy tellsh mwe wht to dwo"", I say through a mouthful of cardboard, giving a middle finger to ""remove pizza from box before consumption""."

"So i went to my first fight club gathering I arrived a little late, so i did not catch the first part, but i had a great time. I recommend it to everybody."

"You don't put your dick in crazy because you'll probably get hurt... You don't put your dick in stupid because you'll probably get hertz"

"Two flies are eating on crap. One of the flies farts, to which the second fly replies "" Do you mind ? I'm eating here !!"""

"Why did the girl who worked for the telephone company sing all the time? Because she was an operetta (operator)."

"What do you call getting a movie about Norse gods from the Internet? DownlOdin. What do you call getting a movie about Norse gods from the Internet illegally? Thorrenting."

"There are no winners in an arm wrestling match, only Nascar fans."

"Guys.You can't make everyone happy, so just concentrate on me"

"how do I play farmville on this fuckin site? This fuckin blows"

"Wifi went down during family dinner tonight. One kid started talking and I didn't know who he was."