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Joke of the Day

"Why did the strawberry go out with the pineapple? Because he couldn't get a date!"

"What do you call a corrupt lawyer? Senator."

"What type of pants does Mario wear? denim denim denim"

"Wow, what a day. I volunteered at a soup kitchen, caught up on my scrapbookin', went 2 baby shower, ran 9 miles, then told lies on twitter."

"There once was a Little Girl named Sue... She likes a lot of celebrities. But, every person she idolises commits suicide. Because they're Sue's idols! Hahaha?"

"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven because they wouldn't let you in because you're terrible?"

"I'm starting a Mexican hate group. It's called the quequeque."

"Why was the actor pleased to be on the gallows? Because at last he was in the noose."

"I'm eating this banana sideways so my husband doesn't get the wrong idea."

"*saves dandruff for 7 years to throw as confetti at friends wedding that i never really liked*"