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Joke of the Day

"New boyfriend is allergic to kitten so can't keep him :( He's ginger & named Tom. Friendly. Comes when called. 28yrs-old & works in IT."

"Did you hear about the boy who was told to do 100 lines? He drew 100 cats on the paper. He thought the teacher had said lions."

"Johnny Depp is proof that if you dress like you're a member of a rock band long enough one will just form around you eventually"

"What do you call an eternity? Four Blondes at a four way stop."

"What is green and smells like bacon? ... Kermit's finger"

"I sat down beside this guy in a diner, every time he went to take a bite of his sandwich I'd say nomnomnom. He left. Making friends is hard."

"Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two tired."

"My ex gf came from the land down under, no not Australia, Hell."

"What do you call an Irishman who studies dinosaurs? a paleontologist."

"The phrase ""don't take this the wrong way"" has a zero percent success rate."