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Joke of the Day

"What did Adam say when he broke up with Eve? I'm turning over a new leaf."

"Some say the five knuckle shuffle isn't a finishing move My girlfriend is not one of them."

"What's a parrot's favourite game? Monopoly!"

"Wanna hear a joke? Sanctity of marriage. OH!"

"I went to the zoo and saw a piece of toast in a cage. The sign said ""Bread in captivity""."

"What's the difference between Texas and stupid? Nothing."

"I gave my cat a middle name today, so she knows when she is really in trouble."

"I feel quite light today. Pounds aren't what they used to be."

"I went into a vegan slaughterhouse. Man, there was juice eveywhere!"

"[at restaurant] Me: ""I'm so hungry I could eat a horse"" Wife: ""I'm the same"" Horse family at next table: *just sitting very still*"