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Joke of the Day

"I'm usually pretty inspired after watching a movie to try something I've just seen. [hunts for a movie about cleaning bathrooms]"

"I wonder if Scarlett Johansson ever fantasizes about fat comic book nerds, or is that just a one-way street?"

"I'm so anti-social, my misery loathes company."

"*Skrillex' mother puts her ear to his bedroom door* *She hears constant bass drops* *Dad walks up* ""Sounds like he's Wubbing one out.."""

"I recently got a job circumcising elephants the pay is terrible but the TIPS ARE HUGE!"

"A good name for a dog would be syndrome. Because then you could say down, syndrome. -courtesy of norm macdonald ;)"

"How was Rome split in half? With a pair of *Caesars*"

"Restrooms now have auto flushes, taps, hand dryers. But isn't it silly that you cancel all that by touching the door handle on your way out?"

"A knock-knock joke Knock knock Who's there? Boo Boo who? Please don't cry."

"By the power vested in me by this case of beer, I now pronounce these three loads of laundry as one."