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Joke of the Day

"NSFL NSFW It's a dead baby joke... NSFL NSFW What's worse than a dead baby in a microwave?... The guy masturbating just outside the microwave..."

"Have you seen the new fishing website? No it's not online yet."

"""I love plates."" - Plato"

"Lifting the toilet seat AND putting it back down are 2 steps. If women really want equality, they're going to have to take on a step here."

"Just tell me when and where, and I'll be there 20 minutes late."

"What's the difference between a jew and... ...Do you know what's the difference between a jew and a boy scaut? A boy scout comes back from a camp."

"Why can't you see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they're really good at it."

"People who say they don't have any problems are lying to you, but at least give them credit for not telling you about them."

"Woman: Is it a boy or a girl, doctor? Doctor: It's a mango. A perfectly ripe mango Woman: Oh thank GOD. I hate babies"

"BEDSIDE CONFESSION Ted and Julie go to bed with each other for the first time. Julie: ""I should warn you, Ted: I've got acute angina."" Ted: ""Your breasts aren't bad either."