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Joke of the Day

"How many terrorist does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just hold a knife to its throat and threaten to execute it if it doesn't change itself"

"Just had a water fight over the park with a bunch of local kids... I won!! No one's a match for me and my kettle."

"International Women's Day That's the joke"

"long-term plan is to let my debt build into the millions and when I die have a golden tombstone that says COME COLLECT IT IN HELL, TAX MAN"

"""Unhand me you cad!"" I shriek, before turning disappointedly to see that I've only caught my shirt in the silverware drawer."

"I can help anyone quit smoking by spraying them with hair spray as they light their cigarette."

"I AM THE BOSS, DO NOT FORGET Boss hangs a poster in Office ""I AM THE BOSS, DO NOT FORGET"" He returns from lunch, finds a slip on his desk. ""Ur wife called, she wants her poster back home."""

"1 and 2 dogs name you'r dogs 1 and 2.You eat One. You still have two."

"My local newspaper was holding a contest... For the best puns last week so I submitted ten, sure that at least one would win a prize, but no pun in ten did."

"I wouldn't step onto a plane with thrust issues."