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Joke of the Day

"Which city holds the record for the most suicides committed by a Gorilla jumping off a tall building? Fall-adelphia!"

"I hate gay people They are a pain in my ass."

"Why can't a guy see his friends? Because he's married."

"You know what channel The Republican debate is on? I don't know man, maybe check Comedy Central?"

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? You're hot but you make me really uncomfortable, sometimes my underwear gets sticky and I get burned"

"Why was hitler's suicide such a suprise? Because we did nazi it coming"

"[doorbell] ""Sir, do you believe Jesus died for your sins?"" ""No."" ""Why not?"" ""He died like 2000 years ago."" ""So?"" ""I'm 46. Do the math."""

"So I went to my Dr. and said I needed something for my joints... He handed me a lighter"

"The swordsman thought he won his fight but in fact His opponent feinted"

"i sent all my sims to universitey & they all became computer scientists & proved they were living in a simulation so i unpluged my computor"