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Joke of the Day
"All my exes are engaged, married, and/or have kids. I'm single. As far as I'm concerned, I've won."
Next Joke
"Schrodingers cat walks into a bar ... and doesn't."
"I may seem confident on the outside but deep down on the inside I remember every time I've accidentally leaned on a light switch."
"At first I hated my new haircut... but it's growing on me."
"Hey can you pick up summa of the way home? Me: Hey, on your way hone can you pick up summa? Wife: Summa what? Me: Summa DEEZ NUTS"
"You guys wanna hear a construction joke? I'm working on it."
"Don't date a left handed girl... righty tighty lefty loosey"
"Happy 1 month anniversary to the 37 browser tabs I have open."
"COWORKER: I'm my own biggest critic. ME: Haha, trust me. You aren't."
"Just got my drivers license and I'm already getting compliments! Someone left a note on my car which said ""Parking fine!"" I was so happy :)"