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Joke of the Day

"Free business idea: Female owned law firm & Japanese restaurant called ""She Sue Sushi."" (Our lawyers are slammin & so is our salmon)"

"What do you call an ESA engineer serving the comet lander? Philae Minion"

"What do politicians do for fun? Rave at the party."

"I SAID I HAD A NEAR DEAF EXPERIENCE"

"January 27th is Mozart's birthday. Mozart died at 34 years old. Had he lived he would be 259 years old on Tuesday"

"9am: protein shake, oatmeal 1pm: small salad, chicken breast 5pm: grilled salmon, spinach 9pm: 4 whole ""i don't give a shit anymore"" pizzas"

"what do hookers and guns have in common? the customer wants the most bang for their buck."

"What did the vulture say when the airline agent asked if he wanted to check his luggage? No, thanks, it's just carrion..."

"On my last flight I watched a woman in front of me pull out her hair and eat it until I fell asleep. Can't do that in first class."

"Dear People of The World, I don't mean to sound slutty but use me whenever you want. Sincerely, Proper Grammar."