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Joke of the Day

"Free business idea: Female owned law firm & Japanese restaurant called ""She Sue Sushi."" (Our lawyers are slammin & so is our salmon)"

"What do you call someone who wears a diaper fashioned from a map? Incontinent"

"My dog understands four words: his name, food, outside and Antidisestablishmentarianism."

"If you're not carrying around matchbooks from places you've been recently I don't know why you don't want your murder to be solved"

"If she high-five you after sex...marry her on the spot."

"""Meetings"" What a Jamaican calls everything he owns."

"You can tell all you need to know about a person by whether they bring the banana to their mouth or mouth to the banana."

"That awkward moment when people text you first and then don't keep the conversation going."

"When my girlfriend and I do role play sex she insists that I treat here like a 12 year old... I don't know why she insists on it so heavily... I mean she will be 12 in just a couple of years!"

"I'm 27, my BF is 37. Is 10 years too much of an age gap? 'cause his son is 17 and really hot."