12512

Joke of the Day

"wife: How was work? [flashback to me being asked to leave the meeting because I couldn't stop giggling after someone said ""abreast""] me:Good"

"I always cary a clump of my hair in my pocket so when people say, ""I like your haircut"", I can respond with, ""Thanks. Here, have some."""

"I received a call from a charity asking me to donate clothes for starving people. Anyone who can fit into my clothes isn't starving!"

"When do you care for a man's company? ""When he owns it."""

"Sometimes it's better to keep using the wrong key until you find the right lock."

"What's the difference between a cat and a politician? A cat will lie *on* your face. A politician will lie *to* your face."

"What do you call it when 2 guys fight over a slut? Tug-of-whor"

"My knock, knock joke Knock, Knock Who's there? The Doctor. Doctor who? No, just The Doctor."

"A guy at work calls me ""Partner"" and another guy calls me ""Chief"". Apparently we're playing Cowboys and Indians and I'm a double agent."

"What did the DNA say to the RNA? What are U doing here?"