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Joke of the Day

"Why should you always take at least two Baptists fishing? Because if you take one, he'll drink all your beer"

"There are three ways to spread news telegram, television and tellawoman."

"My ex girlfriend was like a pile of shit. Always had a thousand eyes on her."

"Well, at least I have a step ladder... I never knew my real ladder, but I heard he supported 3 people."

"What do you call a Dothraki mathematician? Khal-culator."

"""How did your *looks down at notes scribbled on hand* favorite sports team do in their *looks down again* sporting contest today?"""

"Why did the thoughtful father buy his six children a dachshund? He wanted a dog they could all pet at once."

"What a beautiful day! The sun's shining, the birds are singing, the neighbor's dog is taking a huge crap on my lawn..."

"What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already had to tell her twice."

"I always wondered why cross eyed people never get hit crossing the road. Then it hit me. They are always looking both ways."