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Joke of the Day
"PRO TIP: Using a Starbucks cup to ask for change makes me think I'm worse off than you"
Next Joke
"GARY JOHNSON: let me debate, i wanna debate, lemme lemme MODERATOR: FINE! how will you deal with big banks JOHNSON: like...river banks, or"
"You know your getting old when ... Rough sex is fighting for the bottom."
"What do you call an Italian mobster who specializes in cold coffee drinks? Al Frap-Pacino"
"I like my coffee how I like my ladies Strong, black, and preferably fair trade"
"How Long is a Chinese name."
"Does Al Pacino think that he's getting paid by the decibel?"
"Capitalization is important. NSFW Capitalization is the difference between ""I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse."" and ""I had to help my uncle jack off a horse."""
"The final stage of adulthood is when you start saying, ""Oooh, that breeze feels nice."""
"Just broke my very own personal record of most consecutive days without dying."