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Joke of the Day

"Do transformers buy car or life insurance?"

"Cheer up Hillary Clinton. Nelson Mandela wasn't elected president, until after serving 27 years in prison."

"[teaching my 3yo the alphabet] ""Ok what's a word that starts with Q"" cucumber ""That's uh... I don't... let's pick this up again tomorrow"""

"I can't wait for the season finale of... ...America."

"Well, it's that time of year again when people come up to me with their scary face and frightening clothes with their hand held out wanting money and shit. I hate my job at the welfare office."

"Mexican jokes and black jokes are all the same. Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal."

"The Supreme Court is like regular court but with sour creme, guacamole and extra cheese."

"Most of the people dream of not working and having lots of money. During an economic crisis 50 % of those dreams came true."

"WIFE: get down here! ME: *from telephone wire* I'm with my friends WIFE: why are u wearing fake wings? ME: *to bird next to me* they're real"

"Why does Donald Trump secretly want to lose the election? Because if he wins, he'll have to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood."