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Joke of the Day

"Why did the polish spy fail in his mission to blow up Hitlers car. He kept burning his lips on the muffler."

"What happened to the man who went to court for making deafening noises? He lost his hearing."

"What did Pink Floyd say to Jerry Sandusky? Hey, teacher, leave those kids alone!"

"Whooooaaaa, I'm halfway therrreee WHOOOAAAA, LOSING ALL MY HAIRRRR Take this wig, we'll fake it I swearrrrr WHOAOHH, LOSING ALL MY HAIRRR"

"At the cinema. ME: Two tickets please! CASHIER: For the Hobbit? ME: How dare you sir, she's my date."

"A blind man walks into a bar... And a chair, and a table."

"Nobody's phone is ever off. They're lying."

"How many Budists does it take... How many Budists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. The change, if needed, will come from within."

"What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph... Cause he's not a full ese"

"What did the mexican-american say when two houses landed on him? Get off me holmes!"