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Joke of the Day

"Hi. We noticed you Googled ""How do I keep IT from seeing my browser history"" yesterday at 3:21pm. How'd that work out for you?"

"Stupidity: Running over a string 10 times with the vacuum cleaner, picking it up, looking at it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance."

"What's the difference between Mick Jagger, and a Scottish farmer? Mick Jagger says 'Hey, you, get off of my cloud' The Scottish farmer says 'Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe'"

"How heavy is the moderation on this sub? And was it in anyway responsible for the death of FPH."

"Pack of polos for sale still in the wrapper Mint condition Pack of polos for sale, still in the wrapper. Mint condition"

"Met a beautiful girl down at the park today... Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex there and then. God, I love my new Taser..."

"Nodding my head like yeah moving my hips like yeah selling my blood like yeah because I made a series of poor financial decisions like yeah"

"I had no idea she was allergic to rat poison your honor"

"What did the pastry chef say to his apprentice? ""Know your roll!"""

"""Go-go-gadget meaningful relationship with daughter,"" the Inspector whispered to his cell phone. But it didn't ring."