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Joke of the Day

"Abortion jokes are a lot like the procedure itself. If you half-ass it then it will come out mangled."

"Someone is watching you... And his name is John Seenya!"

"What does a flame smell like? Burnt nose hair."

"A three-legged dog walks into a bar. ""I'm lookin' fer the man that shot my paw"""

"If you can read this, you're standing too close to my iPhone!"

"What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot."

"Play The Bee Gees loudly several times a day from your home so that if you have to kill someone the sounds won't be unusual."

"Judas: Still on for friday? ""Jesus: friday?"" ""Judas: Yeah, the Last Supper."" ""Jesus: The what?"" ""Judas: Supper. Normal supper with the fellas."""

"Did you hear about the Guitar Player who got arrested last week? He was caught fingering A minor."

"What kind of pants does Mario wear? (Super Mario Brothers) *""Denim Denim Denim""*"