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Joke of the Day

"I can only please one person a day, and i already pleased myself this morning.. so y'all are screwed!"

"What's Santa's favourite metal band? Sleigher."

"I went to Applebee's for dinner last night Our food was so good that I asked the waitress to bring out the chef, so they brought out the microwave."

"They agreed upon 'almond milk' when the original name flavoured nut water was rejected by test audiences, for whatever reason..."

"I keep telling Redditors ADHD doesn't actually exi..... ....hey look, a birdie!"

"What did the elephant say to the horn-less rhino? ""Rhino horn?"""

"I went into a vegan slaughterhouse. Man, there was juice eveywhere!"

"If you date a Chinese girl and you don't want to meet her parents, you're doing it Wong."

"Why did the farmer's bucket keep singing songs? Because it was haulin' oats."

"My friend just just dumped a funeral director she was dating. She said he was a real stiff."