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Joke of the Day

"Hey Buzzfeed, the only way my beard is 2% feces... ...is if I just finished eating 98% of the pussy."

"Whats the best fat guy pickup line? If you think I'm fat, you should see my chubby!"

"Apparently ""What inning is it?"" is not a valid Football related question. Sports are hard."

"When I lost my rifle the army charged me $85.That's why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship. Sometimes shit happens"

"Why does Waldo wear stripes? He doesn't want to be spotted."

"I want to get a pet deer, cover it in pickles, and name her Dildo"

"Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? Because if it had four doors it'd be a chicken sedan."

"What is the difference between Santa Claus and a Jew? Santa goes down the chimney."

"Mr Bean bought a cow Do U Know Why Mr.BEAN Bought A Brown Cow??? 2 Get Chocolate Milk!!"

"I want a girl who asks me to do things that I have to Google."