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Joke of the Day

"Hey Buzzfeed, the only way my beard is 2% feces... ...is if I just finished eating 98% of the pussy."

"What is an out of date joke you still remember? One from the 90's: What do you call a little burro? A Burrito. What do you call a little taco? A Taquito What do you call a little judge? A Judge Ito"

"Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? You can park in the handicap zone. "

"some say yer mom reminds em' of a tornado sounds like hell when she comes, took my house when she left"

"Got a summons for jury duty. At least now I know it will be a hung jury."

"I don't take my shirts to the dry cleaners. If I want to look sharp, I pay the iron price."

"What does an accountant use for birth control? His personality."

"At first I thought this subreddit was beating a dead horse. But it had only fainted."

"Why do ladies prefer 77 over 69? Because it's eight more."

"The only way I'm coming to your wedding is if YOU get ME a gift. You just found lifelong love, I think I deserve a blender more than you do."