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Joke of the Day

"Why does Bernie Sanders support abortions? Because even after he's blown his load he won't pull out."

"My wife's maggot soup surprise is better than it used to be now that it is topped with coal ash."

"Reflections on this mirror appear uglier than they really are because of the erroneous standards of beauty set by our judgemental society."

"My dentist and orthodontist have the same name... Isn't that coinci*dental*?"

"I told my doctor I was having issues during sex. He said Cialis. Could someone tell me where I find Alice?"

"What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa stops after 3 Ho's"

"Why do vegetarians give good head? Because they are used to eating nuts!"

"I seriously hate it when a couple starts having an argument in front of you. They could have least waited until I got dressed and left."

"What'd you call a German businessman? An enterpreNeuer."

"I was cleaning one of my finger guns and accidentally blew a hole through my air guitar."