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Joke of the Day

"Beer before liquor, alphabetical order"

"What does a flame smell like? Burnt nose hair."

"I think I am going to buy a whiteboard.... They're simply remarkable."

"Being an asshole lowers people's expectations of you. (Except on Twitter, where assholes must continue to prove they are assholes)"

"Doctor Doctor I'm becoming invisible. Yes I can see you're not all there!"

"Oldie.....Mexico will never win an Olympic medal in swimming or track and field..... ... because every Mexican who can run, jump or swim lives in the United States."

"To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target."

"LPT:Use your initials instead of full name The results will be acronymical!"

"Did you hear about the recently unemployed electrician? Apparently he's now ohm-less."

"What's it like paying a dude for sex? It's a pain in the ass."