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Joke of the Day

"After having sex in a sea... All i can say is that it went swimmingly... I'll^take^my^leave^now..."

"If a Donkey and Zebra ever mate they'd have to call the offspring a Zonkey because Debra is already taken."

"I'm so drunk I can speak fluent Ozzy Osbourne."

"Why was the Japanese man so careful when walking in his house? It was made of pranks."

"PLATO: I'm famous in the future? I bet the word platonic is used to describe philosoph-- It's for relationships where nobody's getting laid"

"What did the cold pipe say to the to hot pipe? Nothing,pipes can't talk. Thank you"

"The Vietnamese place on my street has soup so popular they make you stand in a line to get it. It's a big pho queue."

"I met the woman of my dreams playing Pokemon GO then she got hit by a car."

"They should just report when there WASN'T a shooting in Florida at this point"

"What came first: the chicken or the egg? The egg because I ate egg for breakfast and chicken for dinner."