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Joke of the Day

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. And that is ***not funny***."

"Sometimes it's not about missing someone, it's about reloading and trying again."

"If I was on death row I'd request my own heart as my last meal. But they wouldn't be able to extract it til they killed me: Catch 22. I walk"

"Do you think maybe humans are gonna evolve with longer arms for selfie purposes?"

"What happened to the egg when he was tickled too much? He cracked up."

"What is Stannis Baratheon's favorite genre of metal? Grindcore"

"My goldfish died. The good news is I'm inheriting a tiny treasure chest."

"I will be in a bathroom stall later today to watch Trump's inauguration... ...it will forever be remembered as the day shit went down."

"What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon. Ones fun to smash with a mallet and the other ones a dead baby."

"Why did Steve fall off the swing? Because he was a potato!"