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Joke of the Day
"What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they're stuck up bitches."
Next Joke
"You can get a free carton of ice cream at the grocery store if you eat the whole thing before the cops show up."
"Modern art.. I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art? I beg your pardon sir, that is a mirror!"
"The Galactic Empire, after the destruction of the Death Star, has taken to bowling during the interim. The Empire Strikes Back, they call it."
"Why did the Frenchman not want two eggs for breakfast? Because one egg is un oeuf."
"""Choas Theory""-themed restaurant: Eating Disorder"
"At the supermarket I saw a man and a woman wrapped in a barcode... I asked, ""Are you two an item?"""
"A lizard that can't walk: From what is it suffering? Reptile Dysfunction"
"What's a Hater, Homophobe, Racist, Bigot, and Sexist? Any conservative winning an argument with a liberal, Democrat or 'progressive'."
"[at preschool open house hearing nut allergy policy] *raises hand* What if I draw a peanut on her napkin? Wife: Please go wait in the car"