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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a married guy and a single guy? Wait, let me ask and make sure it's ok to tell the joke."

"What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an atheist, an insomniac? A person that lays awake late at night and ponders if there's such a thing as a dog."

"People think it's great if you like kids but will freak out if you assign an age. I like 10 year olds. See? Creepy. I'll wait in the van."

"Why is no one friends with Dracula? Cause hes a pain in the neck."

"A suicide bomber is teaching some new recruits... He said, ""Watch this demonstration carefully. I'm only going to do this once."""

"*tree falls in forest, quickly stands up and looks around to see if anybody heard it, brushes self off*"

"A fart is just a turd honking for the right of way. Yep"

"My friend told me he found a Gaylord Perry rookie card in his attic. Incredible. I had no fucking clue they made trading cards for the cast of Friends."

"What does one llama say to the other llama before the smoke some weed? Alpaca bowl!!!"

"Both Christmas and New Years fell on a weekend this year, which had to suck for the four or five of you that still have jobs."