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Joke of the Day

"Sports injury Last night on ESPN I was watching Women's beach volleyball. About three minutes into the game, there was a really bad wrist injury. The doctor said I should be fine in a few days though."

"Just in case the FBI turns on my web cam, I've got a teeny tiny picture of Jimmy Hoffa taped to the lens."

"I really can't walk the walk or talk the talk but if you need someone to drink the drink, I'm your man."

"Romeo and Juliet is my favorite story about idiot teenagers who don't know the difference between sleeping and dead"

"What do you call a Pakistani with a vest on? Going to the gym, You. Racist."

"What's a dancer's favorite type of water? Tap water"

"Woman Attacks her Husband This woman is accused of attacking her husband with several of his guitars. Judge: ""First Offender?"" Woman: ""No. First a Gibson Les Paul. Second a Fender."""

"What do Donald Trump and a pumpkin have in common? They're orange on the outside, hollow on the inside and should be tossed out in early November."

"Kids should think twice about threatening to run away from home. It only fills their parents with false hope."

"I like to shoot at stop signs, especially those little ones on the side of school buses."