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Joke of the Day

"Sports injury Last night on ESPN I was watching Women's beach volleyball. About three minutes into the game, there was a really bad wrist injury. The doctor said I should be fine in a few days though."

"What do we want? Doppler effect! When do we want it? nooaaaaAAAwwww!"

"What do a cab driver and a cue ball have in common? The harder you hit them ...the more english you get out."

"Me: I'm nauseous. WebMD: Stop looking in the mirror."

"If they could bottle how good it feels to take off your bra, that would sell for more than any expensive wine."

"So apparently Justin Timberlake is going to write a song for all the people that have been devastated by the crisis in Ukraine. It's going to be called 'Crimea River'."

"Imagine if the Indians gave the pilgrims a donkey... Then we'd all get a little ass for thanksgiving."

"I have just one word for beautiful women with questionable morals, poor decision making skills and an insatiable sex drive, ""Hi""."

"What do you get if you cross a bear and a wolf? You get eaten is what you get. Stop upsetting scary animals."

"My brother told me hates my beard. I said ""Don't worry, it will grow on you"""