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Joke of the Day

"Yo mamma so fat... When you download a picture of her at work, the IT department thinks they're under a DDoS attack."

"Why did the old man hate living next to the tennis courts? He couldn't stand all the racket!"

"Is there big money in the cattle business? So I've herd!"

"Where in the world is Comic Sans, Diego?"

"What did one radical muslim say to the other after a successful day of bombings? Jihad a chance, and you blew it."

"The best time to leave the country is when a demonic voice screams your name from inside a locked basement"

"Joe: $400? For ONE night? Innkeeper: It's the honeymoon suite. [outside] Joe: No rooms. Mary: None? Joe: Bummer, huh. That barn looks cosy?"

"My version of ""Free hugs"" is a sign hung around my neck that says ""Ewww, get the fuck away from me."""

"If a man talks dirty to a woman, that's sexual harassment. If a woman talks dirty to a man, that'll be $6.50 a minute."

"Starlord: Galaxy. Superman: Earth. Spiderman: NYC. And then there's Daredevil micromanaging the shit out of 10 blocks in midtown Manhattan."