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Joke of the Day
"Still waiting for the FedEx joke? OP didn't deliver."
Next Joke
"""Have you tried sleeping? Okay. And you've had enough burritos lately? Hmm. Well, this is puzzling."" - me as a doctor"
"Did you mean ASK or axe? Cause seriously, one is a murder weapon."
"How many Mexicans does it take to build a... Never mind, they're already done, and they paid for it too."
"How many defensive coordinators does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. You can't fit a hairless ten-year-old inside a light bulb."
"*at adoption center* ""Okay yeah they're all great and all, but which one is the most photogenic for Facebook and stuff like that"""
"Two guys walk into a bar... ""Ouch!"""
"Jealous that secret agents can get out of any phone conversation at any time by saying ""it's not safe to talk on the phone right now"""
"yo mama's o fat she supplies 99% of British gas."
"I've agreed so much with my wife that my head just starts nodding at the sound of her voice."