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Joke of the Day

"Two polar bears were sitting in a bathtub The first one says ""Give me the soap"". The second one says ""no soap. radio""."

"Man, I really wish I'd noticed that rubber ducky in the toilet BEFORE I pooped."

"Traffic..The only jam that doesn't go on toast"

"Knock knock Help"

"... AND IT WORKS!!! I just invented a time travel machine..."

"A Doomsday Clock representing the dangers to humanity has symbolically been set to three minutes to midnight I guess you could say we are at... Threat Level Midnight"

"They have a sea food place at Sea World. How morbid. What if I'm eating a slow leaner."

"Baby, let's configure our hard drives in master and slave position."

"[Snail Court] Snail Lawyer: Permission to approach the bench, Your Honor? Snail Judge: I'm sorry; we don't have that kind of time."

"Today has been the best day of my life as I am no longer a 30 year old virgin! I turned 31 today."