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Joke of the Day

"A womans anger is like a check engine light..there is no way to figure out why it came on so just ignore it and hope it goes away...."

Next Joke
 
"My girlfriend's plastic fork broke while she was eating earlier.... ....Just a tine-y bit. (i was so proud of myself but no one else laughed as much as I did )"
"How does a cow do math? With a cowculator!"
"I have a new alter ego named Princess of Optimism. You may call me Poo."
"Just walking down the ""Gluten Free"" aisle, secretly dropping boxes of Twinkies in everyone's carts."
"My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy... ...so I got drunk."
"Damn girl, did it hurt? ""What, when I fell from Heaven?"" ""Yeah, cause your face is really fucked up."""
"A Muslim, A Christiana and a Jew walk into a bar, The Muslim blows up the place before anyone could say anything."
"I spend 99% of my drunk time chasing my cat around trying to give him a hug."
"What's the most privileged fish? A Great White shark."