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Joke of the Day

"My relationships are like a reddit safe pic. Starts off with great anticipations. No responses for a while. Then ends in empty promises and disappointment."

"My African Neighbour just accused me of being racist.I said, "" F*ck Off, I've got a coloured TV ""."

"How many Amish guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One... I mean, they aren't fucking retarded."

"Tried pushing her against the wall to kiss her like all you guys suggested. Put her head right through the drywall. Goddam cheap motels."

"When women go wrong, men go right after them."

"This joke up me crack everytime I hear it Will tell you after next bowel movement."

"air hand dryers are afraid of people and when you put your hands near them, well, thats them screaming."

"[interrogation] ""Where were u on the night of the 3rd?"" Stabbing a homeless man. ""Louder for the tape?"" Wrapping a boneless ham. As a gift."

"When I was in college, I had sex roughly 5 times a week... but I had sex gently a lot more."

"What's the fastest game in the world? Pass the Parcel in a Belfast Pub."