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Joke of the Day

"My relationships are like a reddit safe pic. Starts off with great anticipations. No responses for a while. Then ends in empty promises and disappointment."

"How did the dog feel when he lost his flashlight? Delighted."

"How is a speech impediment like a box of chocolates? It doesn't really matter, as long as it has good cocoa content."

"A lion wouldn't cheat on his wife but a Tiger Wood"

"Amazon is a $250 billion dollar company that reacts to you buying a vacuum by going THIS GUY LOVES BUYING VACUUMS HERE ARE SOME MORE VACUUMS"

"A Buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand And says, ""make me one with everything"""

"Why Mathematics make you a Terrorist? Because they teach what is the history of Al Gebra."

"My heart goes out to all the parents who are about to see how much weight their kids have gained at college during the Thanksgiving break."

"I went to a fortune teller and he told me a lot of money was coming my way. I walked out really excited, then I got hit by a Securicor van."

"Sometimes, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart, but not in your life."