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Joke of the Day

"It only took three beers before I could tell my kid her Barbie Dream House is in foreclosure. She's such a lightweight."

"What did Hitler say to the Chinese food delivery guy that stole his Chinese food? MEIN LOMEIN!"

"Why do trees have so many friends? They branch out"

"My ex told me I'd never find another woman like her. nnI don't think she was expecting the high 5 and happy dance I did right after."

"What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same."

"*calls lost & found* Me: Have you seen my patience? L&F: Hold on a second. Me: *click*"

"My grandfather died during the Holocaust He fell off a guard tower."

"I would complain about the siren of an ambulance even if I was in the back of it."

"What do you say to an overworked clothing maker? You seamstressed."

"Well... cats clean themselves... and we *are* out of toilet paper..."