113871

Joke of the Day

"In September a 127 yr old woman passed away, which we already KNOW is a lie bc the earth isn't even 127 yrs old. Don't be ignorant."

"What did Sherrock Holmes say to his partner? Sedimentary my dear Watson!"

"I want to adopt two kids... ... with cancer, both named Jordan. I've always wanted a sick pair of Jordans."

"I asked my wife if it was still necessary to get her a card for valentines day even after 5 years of marriage. She said yes and the only card she wanted was VISA."

"Do you have porridge for breakfast? Kevin Bacon"

"A website for religious potato chip lovers...Christian Pringle."

"5 out of six researchers conclude, Russian roulette is complete safe."

"Someone recently asked me, ""What blood type are you?"".. I said , ""The red runny type""."

"I won't believe Johnny Depp is engaged until I've seen he's put a ring, 90 bracelets, 7 scarves, a fedora and an ugly pair of glasses on it."

"I'm white, but not applying SPF 100 listening to Mumford & Sons in my Subaru while at soccer practice after a nice quiche for brunch white."