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Joke of the Day

"ME: I give you all my love and infection. HIM: Um. Don't you mean love and 'affection'? ME: ... HIM: ... ME: You should get tested."

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"@NBCSports thank you for making the sports"
"Mexican and Black jokes are all the same... You've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal."
"How to clean your keyboard aaaaaaaa'kdnf...........,mnnbcvxeuw8301435555555556789+0 zx,cmmmmmmmmmvnsdbasfkoljfsw"
"What did the bird say when he flew over K-Mart? Caw Caw why'd my natural habitat get replaced with 165 000 square feet of consumerist wasteland lol"
"I think it'd be cool to be immortal for a day, just to see what it's like."
"What did Amy Winehouse have in common with the Ghostbusters? They both downed spirits."
"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."
"911: what is your emergency? Me: HE READ BUT DIDN'T REPLY"
"What is a nation inhabitated and reigned by stoners called? A hallucination."
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