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Joke of the Day

"When is the only time you can park like a retard? In a handicapped spot."

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"One man's sarcastic answer, is another man's stupid question"
"""Son: Dad, i had sex for the first time"" 'Dad: That is great Son! Sit down and tell me all about it' 'son: Yeah about that...'"
"LPT: Play the Game of Thrones theme tune before you have sex if there is a risk of being overheard. Got me and my SO through the recent family stay overs during the festive season."
"I had a horrible night last night My blow up doll ran off with my air mattress"
"Not that anybody asked, but the Irresistible Force beats the Immovable Object every time."
"An Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a priest, a rabbi and Adolf Hitler walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""What is this, some kind of joke?"""
"Why did u eat it??? A lady was pregnant. Her son asked her ""Mom, What's in u'r tummy?"" Mom answered ""Its a sweet, lovely baby."" Son says, ""If the baby is so sweet and lovely then WHY DID U EAT IT???"""
"Instead of a wallet, I always keep my money in an envelope that says ""For the orphans"" so people will feel terrible if I'm ever murdered."
"You seriously don't want hear my next Fibonacci joke. It's as bad as the previous two combined."